The Most Appalling Misuse of Artificial Intelligence!

Very sorry but I am at it again. I just can’t help myself! This time I am taking the style of perhaps one of the UK’s best known artists, J W M Turner and mixing it up in Stable Diffusion with text inputs like motorbike (motorcycle!) and astronauts. What pops out of Stable Diffusion is really interesting but it is sure to outrage lovers of Turner’s great works. Turner will, I’m sure, be spinning in his grave. Sorry Mr Turner. PS: there were no motorbikes (or astronauts) in Turner’s time. The words DEEP FAKE spring to mind.

Click here for the SLIDESHOW.

The Most Appalling Use of Artificial Intelligence! – Richard Broom Photography

The Bothy

The Bothy – Richard Broom Photography

The Next Example of Artificial Intelligence Skullduggery

Now, as far as I know, the famous Austrian artist, Gustav Klimt (1862-19180), had no particular interest in motorbikes (motorcycles if you’re in the US) but, if he did, he might have included more motorbikes in his images (he didn’t include any motorbikes in his paintings – ever!).

And so, I have asked the Artificial Intelligence engine, Stable Diffusion, to imagine what Klimt’s paintings would have looked like if he had been a true motorbike enthusiast. Apologies to lovers of Klimt’s work everywhere and also apologies to all art lovers. Shameful behaviour I know but so much fun!

To look at one of Klimt’s most famous paintings – The Kiss, click here (Klimt did not have access to Artificial Intelligence websites…but…imagine if he did!?). Doubtless he’ll be spinning in his grave…

Click here for the SLIDESHOW

The Boxing Day Chickens

The Glotspottel Dilemma

My Glotspottel has a flook in it.

What a comeabout!

A good thrust of squarreling hasn’t worked. What next?

I’ve tried spoonchamping, reemsplitting, and even, as a last resort, soditbuckling.  

All to no availiarisation.  What a clitaclysm! Complete sacriligification.

I am sitting here, de-embrecated, contratrunkulated and without tractualisation.

Serious shittitudation?  You bet!

Perhaps a reverse-colonicycle-pull-through-disectomisation is called for?

What can I say?  Who knows?

Total dyspairiation and coconsiderectitude setting in. You know how that feels.

My Glotspottel is, as I sit here, completely flooked.

The Glotspottel Dilemma – Richard Broom Photography

You have to pay homage to Professor Stanley Unwin…

The First Pile of Monochrome Images

Please click HERE or on the images to go full screen.

The Girls

This is my first run at using jAlbum with WordPress. The slideshow isn’t running correctly. Some tinkering needed I think.

The Leavers

Migratory birds leaving the UK. Can you blame them? The UK Conservative Party has turned the UK into a failed state. Our services (NHS, transport, energy, schools etc. etc.) have been wrecked by the Conservative Party’s failed agenda. The UK Conservative Party has lost control of the economy. Brexit has been a disaster and desperately helpless immigrants are drowning in the English Channel. I predict a riot!

The Leavers – Richard Broom Photography

The Next Dollop of Mushroom Images

The Next Dollop of Mushroom Images – Richard Broom Photography

The Change of Career You Are Looking For?

I’m not sure if I am alone but the state of the UK and its political system makes me want to weep uncontrollably. What a total fucking shambles!

There’s never a military coup when you need one!!!

The Power Behind The Throne

Why we should be rid of the Conservative party – now!

The Power Behind The Throne

The Woods Woman 2

The Woods Woman 2 – Richard Broom Photography

The Chicken Who Wonders…

The Chicken Who Wonders – Richard Broom Photography

The Back To Nature Slide Show

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The Woods

If you go down the woods today…

If you go down to the woods today… – Richard Broom Photography

The Attempts at Digital Art and Photography!

A bit of a slide show….

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The Vagina Flower

Perhaps I should go to Specsavers?

The Vagina Flower – Richard Broom Photography

The British Conservative Party (a blocked out of order urinal that stinks of corruption…)

The British Conservative Party (a blocked out of order urinal that stinks) – Richard Broom Photography

The Ukrainian Food (more of it!)

We are being spoiled by our Ukrainian guests…

The Ukrainian Food (more of it!) – Richard Broom Photography

The Really Good Book!

Here’s a good book to read! Click here.

The Really Good Book!

The Autumn is coming!

The Autumn is coming – Richard Broom Photography

The Ukrainian Girl Visits Portsoy, Scotland

Our guest visits Portsoy on a beautiful afternoon…

The Ukrainian Girl Visits Portsoy, Scotland – Richard Broom Photography

The vicious dog attacks what she thinks is a ball!

Katy attacks a discarded fender..

The vicious dog attacks what she thinks is a ball! – Richard Broom Photography

The Ukrainian Cauliflower Moment

Our Ukrainian guests cook up cauliflowers the Ukrainian way. Delicious!!

The Ukrainian Cauliflower Moment – Richard Broom Photography

The Ukrainian Girls meet a good Scottish Bacon Roll (for the first time)…

The Rock and Roll Ukrainian Party

There are few hangovers around this morning!!

The Rock and Roll Ukrainian Party – Richard Broom Photography

The Ukrainian Party

A bit of a party here last night for our guests from the Ukraine. A good time was had by all. Our thoughts, though, were and are very much with the people who remain in the Ukraine.

The image below represents the beginning of a deep, warm and lasting relationship between the people Scotland and the people of the Ukraine. Apart from anything else, the Scots and the Ukrainians make fine drinking partners!!!

The girls from the Ukraine…

Olena and Svitlana who are staying with us for a while

The Girls from the Ukraine

We have two guests from the Kharkiv in the Ukraine, Olina and Svitlana, who are staying with us for a while. Yesterday, we took the girls to see Findlater Castle and sample our bracing Scottish air.

The Girls from the Ukraine

The Ikea Shambles

For the first and last time, I visited Ikea in Southampton this afternoon. I booked a ‘click and collect’ pick-up and oh my, what an utter shambles it was. Hopeless uncommunicative staff moving at a glacial pace (if they are there at all – see the picture of the empty ‘click and collect’ room). They sent me an email telling you that my pick-up is ready and then, when you arrive, you have to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. An so, goodbye Ikea, you will never see me again!

Ikea’s empty click and collect hall – everyone kept waiting.

The End of the Road for Adobe!

I never thought this would happen but I have just closed my Adobe Creative Cloud account. Frankly, Adobe are charging too much, too often. I’ve been an Adobe customer for over 20 years. I have moved to products (Affinity, Apple, ACDSee) that do not charge me monthly for their products.

And so, so long Adobe. When you charge more reasonably, I might return as a customer but, for now, you’ve lost me.

The End of the Road for Adobe! – Richard Broom Photography

The Show

The Turriff Show – Richard Broom Photography

The Experiment

I’m just messing with panoramic images in Apple Motion to see what happens. Here’s what happens!

The Experiment – Richard Broom Photography

The sound of rain in Banff, Aberdeenshire and feeding the really bad audio habit (new Zoom F6)

Join me as I sit and listen to the rain hitting our sun lounge roof. You might hear the odd seagull and my iPhone going ‘ding’.

After waiting for many months, my new Zoom F6 sound recorder has arrived and the raindrops falling just outside my office window are the first recordings I have made on the Zoom 6. Float 32 recording – magical. This all feeds in to my shocking audio habit…

First comment. The F6 will be tricky with anyone with fat fingers!

The Sound of Rain (Banff, Aberdeenshire) – Richard Broom Photography

The Sound of Rain in Banff Aberdeenshire – Richard Broom Photography

The Apple Motion Lady (Jan Jager)

I am so very impressed with Jan Jager and her Apple Motion (and Final Cut Pro) tutorials that you’ll find on YouTube. The video below is an Apple Motion roundup video but, if you are interested in learning more about Apple Motion and how to use it, then there is no better place to start than Jan Jager’s YouTube site here or her website here.

The Grandchildren (a while back)

The Fashion Show.

The Grandchildren (a while back) – Richard Broom Photography

The Snooze

The Snooze – Richard Broom Photography

The Girls Who Tug…

The Girls Who Tug – Richard Broom Photography

The Sign of the Times

Something that is a good deal more durable than most of our more recent UK Prime Ministers! Where have all the honest politicians gone in this country? Honest UK politician – an oxymoron, surely?

The Pilot

My grandson Jack has just qualified as a Private Pilot. His ambition is to become a commercial pilot.

The Pilot

The Wine Maker

The Wine Maker – Richard Broom Photography

The Trip to Loutro

We travelled from the Vritomartis Naturist Resort by boat to the small village of Loutro yesterday. The village is only accessible by boat or along a goat track. A delightfully charming little village with wonderful shops and tavernas.

The Trip to Loutro

The Old Building

The Old Building – Richard Broom Photography

The Tired Old Chopper 2

The Tired Old Chopper 2 – Richard Broom Photography

The Airport – Aberdeen International Airport, Scotland

Join me in the departure lounge at Aberdeen International Airport in Scotland as passengers get ready to board a British Airways flight to London. Aberdeen International Airport is a cosy, friendly but small regional airport. Friendly staff, and not at all like some of the UK’s bigger airports (Birmingham, Luton) which, it could be argued, should be avoided. I travelled via Birmingham Airport this week and met with some deeply impolite and unfriendly Logan Air ground staff at check-in. Not quite the friendly Scottish welcome I was expecting. A disappointing response. Get your act together Logan Air!!!

The Airport – Aberdeen International Airport, Scotland
The Airport – Aberdeen International Airport, Scotland – Richard Broom Photography

The Man in the White Suit (best ever sound effect)

About 300 years ago when I was young and good-looking, I used to take every opportunity to watch the 1951 Ealing Studios film, ‘The Man in the White Suit’ (1951) staring Alec Guiness. No video recorders or DVDs in those days. One of the main reasons I liked the film was because of the fabulous sound effect used in the film (unmistakable if you know the film).

And so, I made my own version of the sound effect which I combined with the original – you can hear in the clip below. After that, you can hear the ‘White Suit Man’ sound effect I created (a tribute to the original sound effect!) on its own.

I created my White Suit Man sound effect on my Native Instruments Machine.

Here’s the original sound effect + mine. Then, below that, my creation.

The Man in the White Suit (best ever sound effect)

And here’s my version of the sound effect on its own (image courtesy of IMBD)

The Sound of the Surf

Join me on the cliffs east Portsoy, Scotland and listen to the waves crashing onto the rocks far below us.

I recorded the sound using my Zoom H6 sound recorder and used my parabolic microphone (with two mics for best stereo effect). The sound was processed in Adobe Audition.

The Sound of the Surf
The Sound of the Surf – Richard Broom Photography

Calling Poland – Ukrainian Crisis

I see people from Poland are looking at my blog (from Flag Counter)

Like thousands of other people in the United Kingdom, we are offering the spare room of our house to refugees from the Ukraine. Our British Government is moving at a very slow pace and, until we can identify a refugee from the Ukraine in Poland (or any country near to the Ukraine), we cannot start arranging travel for these people. In fact, I feel ashamed to be British when I see what Boris Johnson is failing to do (all talk, no action and lies, lies, lies).

And so, if you are in Poland and if you can put us in touch with an agency/NGO who is trying to find accommodation for refugees in the UK (Scotland), then please send me an email at and we will do our best. We have one spare bedroom, it would suit mother/child or older couple (senior citizens?). Naturally, we would NOT be charging rent for the use of our room. We want to help.

The Donkey Who (supposedly) Leads Us

It really is time for Boris Johnson to go (along with his cronies).

The Woodpecker (and others)

Join us on this morning’s dog walk and listen to the sound of a woodpecker (and other birds) as we walk through the woods near to our home in Banff, Scotland.

Today, for the first time, I used two microphones on my parabolic microphone. Stay tuned for sounds of a stream that runs through the woods. The second mic on the parabolic microphone makes quite a difference – much richer soundscapes. I processed the sound in Adobe Audition to try and limit the wind noise. The wind rushing through the tree tops create quite a lot of background noise…

You can buy a parabolic microphone from this company.

The Woodpecker (and others)
The Woodpecker (and others) – Richard Broom Photography

The other people who will need our support…

The other people who will need our support…

Take a look:

When people like this chap return to the UK, they could face being charged with a criminal offence by our Government. At that time, we need to support these men and women who are, in my view, heroes. We need to be ready for the actions of an uncaring government and people like that awful woman Priti Patel.

If you are in the UK, please circulate this post widely. These brave people (and their families) need our support now and will certainly need it in the future.

The News (we’re in it!)

We’re in the news!!!

Click here to read all about it:

The Girls

The Girls – Richard Broom Photography

The Cute Kid

The Cute Kid – Richard Broom Photography

The Underwear

The Underwear – Richard Broom Photography

The Night Before You Came…

10 years on and I still listen to this all the time..

The Night Before You Came…

The Babbling Brook in Scotland

Join me and listen to the sound of a babbling brook near to Duff House, Banff, Aberdeenshire, Scotland.

The sound was recording using a parabolic mic system manufactured by the Parabolic Microphone Company.

This was my first attempt at recording using the ‘para-mic.’ The gentle sounds of a small stream running through the woods.

More sounds to come!

The Babbling Brook in Scotland
The Babbling Brook in Scotland – Richard Broom Photography

The Parabolic Microphone

A new microphone system!

I have purchased a parabolic microphone from the Parabolic Microphone Company.

Today was the first day I ventured out into the woods with the ‘para-mic’ to test it out – results below.

Briefly, the parabolic microphone is a directional mic. Basically, point it at a sound source and press the record button (listen to the babbling brook recording above).

On this first try out down in the woods close to Duff House, I forgot to put the ‘wind condom’ on the dish (second image below) and so I picked up quite a bit of wind noise. Moreover, there was a gentle but steady wind through the trees in the wood and that gave me a small amount of background noise which I’ve managed to reduce in post-processing using Adobe Audition.

I used my Zoom H6 to record the sound. I’m still waiting for my Zoom F6 to arrive.

The first recordings will be coming up shortly. Please stay tuned.

The Parabolic mic (without wind sock) – Richard Broom Photography
The parabolic mic with the wind ‘condom’ attached – Richard Broom Photography

The 315 Amsterdam-Monnickendam Bus

Join me aboard the 315 bus that leaves Amsterdam Central Staton and travels out to Monnickendam and beyond.

As ever in the Netherlands, the bus is spotlessly clean…

The 315 Amsterdam-Monnickendam Bus

The Amsterdam Tram Ride

Why not join me for a tram ride between Amsterdam Central Staton and Dam Square? The announcer comes on at around 2 minutes 40 seconds…

The Morse Code Pile-up

What happens when a rare callsign pops up on the Morse (CW) part of the Amateur Radio

bands. The chaos starts around 17 seconds in!

More sound files and sound effects to follow.

The Woman

The Woman – Richard Broom Photography

The Beach

The Nimble Fisherman

The Springs

The Springs – Richard Broom Photography

Reporting Under Fire…

I found this old picture somewhere…not sure where it comes from but, can’t help thinking it is topical given the way journalists are targeted these days. Let’s hope for a better world.

About time too!!!!

I know, it has been a long time since I posted anything…let’s get back into it with a chicken!

Super Dawg

The Harbour

The Sound Recorders

Here are two remarkable people who record sounds out there in the real world. I always feel that my dull images and videos could be spiced up with sound and that I should be recording more sound. These two people are my inspiration! Also interesting to see how much you can earn when you run a YouTube Channel.

You can find these remarkable folks and buy their recordings here: Their Youtube Channel is here:

The Woman

The Woman – Richard Broom Photography

The Castle

Findlater Castle, Aberdeenshire, Scotland. Built in the 1400s, abandoned in the 1600s. One owner, Sir John Gordon, fell out with Mary Queen of Scots and she had his head chopped off (I bet that hurt). Later, Queen Elizabeth 1 of England did to Mary Queen of Scots what Mary did to Sir John Gordon. It surely didn’t pay to upset people way back then! Off with their heads! Ouch!

The Castle – Richard Broom Photography

Video Squirt No 10 – Findlater Castle

Findlater Castle, Aberdeenshire, Scotland – built around the 1400s

Findlater Castle, Aberdeenshire, Scotland

The New Friend

Sue’s new and hungry friend…

The Engineer

An old favourite revived…

The Engineer – Richard Broom Photography

The Oops Moment…

My wife asked me to order two new broom handles online and, being the obliging, highly obedient, house-trained and dutiful husband I am, I did as I was told (is there any other alternative?). The image shows what arrived in the post this morning. I think, perhaps, I got my measurements wrong. If anyone can think of a use for two very short bits of stick, please let me know.

The Oops Moment – Richard Broom Photography

The Chicken

The Chicken – Richard Broom Photography

The Video Squirt No.7 – The Harbour

Richard Broom Photography

The Video Squirt (No.5) – The Gorse Walk

Spring has brought an explosion of colour along the Scottish coast

The Helen Burnie Departs

The Helen Burnie Departs – Richard Broom Photography

The Most Interesting Music

Here’s Arushi Jain playing her music. You can read more about Arushi by clicking here. Peaceful music.

The Mad Dawg

The great song that goes with this video by The IronWeed Project

The Mad Dawg: Music by the Ironweed Project – Richard Broom Photography

A Walk in the Hills..

Another one for the grandchildren…

A Walk in the Hills – another one for the grandchildren – Richard Broom Photography

The Moon

The Moon – Richard Broom Photography

The Carina Arrives

The Harbour

The Boats

The Boats – Richard Broom Photography

The Big Wheel

The Big Wheel – Richard Broom Photography

The Seagull Feeding Session

Note: the iPhone digital zoom not so hot!

The Beach Walk

The Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) – the Sir Richard Dearlove (former MI6 Chief) interview.

Please click here to listen to our interview with Sir Richard Dearlove.

Image courtesy Wikipedia – Domusrulez

The QRM from John’s radio…

Okay. I lied about the last blog post of the year (previous post).

But, if Boris ‘pilllock‘ Johnson can lie to the world repeatedly, then so can I!!!

If you look at John’s blog post (please click here), you’ll see he’s getting QRM on 540 Khz. QRM is radio-speak for interference or, maybe, jamming.

John is in Las Vegas and I’m in Scotland and so, I tuned to 540 Khz on my radio to see what I would receive here on the fashionable side of the North Atlantic. And what I get on 540 Khz is a station broadcasting in a language I do not recognise. Please take a listen to the video below. If anyone knows the cause of John’s interference (I wonder about his ceiling fan!), or the language recorded in my video below, please do let us know.

Happy New Year again. This might really be my past blog post of 2020. Let’s hope for a wonderful 2021.

STOP PRESS. I just found this.

The First Solo

My grandson completes his first solo.

The First Solo

The Actor – Iona Reid – NEW PODCAST!

Please listen in to our most recent Banff Spy podcast featuring Iona Reid who is a young, up and coming actress based in Turriff in North East Scotland.

You can listen to Iona talking about acting and acting training by clicking on this link.

Please check out our Banff Spy website by clicking here.

And he’s a photograph of Iona who is also the Banff Spy Podcast Producer:

Iona Reid
Iona overlooking Banff and the River Deveron – Aberdeenshire

The Morse Code Podcast

The Morse Code had everything to do with the sinking of the Titanic and it was also used by Secret Agents everywhere..

Please take a listen to our latest Banff Spy podcast about the Morse Code by following this link:

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

The Neural Edits

All done using Photoshop’s new neural filter…

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The Morse Code

You might think that Morse code had died out long ago. Here’s a recording of what is known as a ‘pile up.’ About 11 seconds into the recording, you’ll hear Radio Amateur enthusiasts around the world trying to make contact with one person who has a rare callsign. Radio Amateurs record the contacts (AKA QSOs) with other Radio Amateurs around the world and collect contacts like other people collect rare stamps. The Morse code is alive and well!

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The Banff Spy Podcast (Segment 2)

Part 2 of the first of our podcasts.

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