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Now, as far as I know, the famous Austrian artist, Gustav Klimt (1862-19180), had no particular interest in motorbikes (motorcycles if you’re in the US) but, if he did, he might have included more motorbikes in his images (he didn’t include any motorbikes in his paintings – ever!).

And so, I have asked the Artificial Intelligence engine, Stable Diffusion, to imagine what Klimt’s paintings would have looked like if he had been a true motorbike enthusiast. Apologies to lovers of Klimt’s work everywhere and also apologies to all art lovers. Shameful behaviour I know but so much fun!

To look at one of Klimt’s most famous paintings – The Kiss, click here (Klimt did not have access to Artificial Intelligence websites…but…imagine if he did!?). Doubtless he’ll be spinning in his grave…

Click here for the SLIDESHOW

My Glotspottel has a flook in it.

What a comeabout!

A good thrust of squarreling hasn’t worked. What next?

I’ve tried spoonchamping, reemsplitting, and even, as a last resort, soditbuckling.  

All to no availiarisation.  What a clitaclysm! Complete sacriligification.

I am sitting here, de-embrecated, contratrunkulated and without tractualisation.

Serious shittitudation?  You bet!

Perhaps a reverse-colonicycle-pull-through-disectomisation is called for?

What can I say?  Who knows?

Total dyspairiation and coconsiderectitude setting in. You know how that feels.

My Glotspottel is, as I sit here, completely flooked.

You have to pay homage to Professor Stanley Unwin…

Please click HERE or on the images to go full screen.

This is my first run at using jAlbum with WordPress. The slideshow isn’t running correctly. Some tinkering needed I think.

I’m not sure if I am alone but the state of the UK and its political system makes me want to weep uncontrollably. What a total fucking shambles!

There’s never a military coup when you need one!!!

@larryandpaul

UK Prime Minister Recruitment ad. #comedy #politics #job #funny #ukcomedy #uk

♬ original sound – Larry & Paul

Why we should be rid of the Conservative party – now!

If you go down the woods today…

A bit of a slide show….

Perhaps I should go to Specsavers?

We are being spoiled by our Ukrainian guests…

Here’s a good book to read! Click here.

Our guest visits Portsoy on a beautiful afternoon…

Katy attacks a discarded fender..

Our Ukrainian guests cook up cauliflowers the Ukrainian way. Delicious!!

There are few hangovers around this morning!!

A bit of a party here last night for our guests from the Ukraine. A good time was had by all. Our thoughts, though, were and are very much with the people who remain in the Ukraine.

The image below represents the beginning of a deep, warm and lasting relationship between the people Scotland and the people of the Ukraine. Apart from anything else, the Scots and the Ukrainians make fine drinking partners!!!

Olena and Svitlana who are staying with us for a while

We have two guests from the Kharkiv in the Ukraine, Olina and Svitlana, who are staying with us for a while. Yesterday, we took the girls to see Findlater Castle and sample our bracing Scottish air.

For the first and last time, I visited Ikea in Southampton this afternoon. I booked a ‘click and collect’ pick-up and oh my, what an utter shambles it was. Hopeless uncommunicative staff moving at a glacial pace (if they are there at all – see the picture of the empty ‘click and collect’ room). They sent me an email telling you that my pick-up is ready and then, when you arrive, you have to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. An so, goodbye Ikea, you will never see me again!

I never thought this would happen but I have just closed my Adobe Creative Cloud account. Frankly, Adobe are charging too much, too often. I’ve been an Adobe customer for over 20 years. I have moved to products (Affinity, Apple, ACDSee) that do not charge me monthly for their products.

And so, so long Adobe. When you charge more reasonably, I might return as a customer but, for now, you’ve lost me.

I’m just messing with panoramic images in Apple Motion to see what happens. Here’s what happens!

Join me as I sit and listen to the rain hitting our sun lounge roof. You might hear the odd seagull and my iPhone going ‘ding’.

After waiting for many months, my new Zoom F6 sound recorder has arrived and the raindrops falling just outside my office window are the first recordings I have made on the Zoom 6. Float 32 recording – magical. This all feeds in to my shocking audio habit…

First comment. The F6 will be tricky with anyone with fat fingers!

A Rainy Day in Banff Aberdeenshire by Richard Broom

I am so very impressed with Jan Jager and her Apple Motion (and Final Cut Pro) tutorials that you’ll find on YouTube. The video below is an Apple Motion roundup video but, if you are interested in learning more about Apple Motion and how to use it, then there is no better place to start than Jan Jager’s YouTube site here or her website here.

The Fashion Show.

The Grandchildren (a while back) – Richard Broom Photography

Something that is a good deal more durable than most of our more recent UK Prime Ministers! Where have all the honest politicians gone in this country? Honest UK politician – an oxymoron, surely?

We travelled from the Vritomartis Naturist Resort by boat to the small village of Loutro yesterday. The village is only accessible by boat or along a goat track. A delightfully charming little village with wonderful shops and tavernas.

Join me in the departure lounge at Aberdeen International Airport in Scotland as passengers get ready to board a British Airways flight to London. Aberdeen International Airport is a cosy, friendly but small regional airport. Friendly staff, and not at all like some of the UK’s bigger airports (Birmingham, Luton) which, it could be argued, should be avoided. I travelled via Birmingham Airport this week and met with some deeply impolite and unfriendly Logan Air ground staff at check-in. Not quite the friendly Scottish welcome I was expecting. A disappointing response. Get your act together Logan Air!!!

Aberdeen, Scotland, Airport Announcements by Richard Broom

About 300 years ago when I was young and good-looking, I used to take every opportunity to watch the 1951 Ealing Studios film, ‘The Man in the White Suit’ (1951) staring Alec Guiness. No video recorders or DVDs in those days. One of the main reasons I liked the film was because of the fabulous sound effect used in the film (unmistakable if you know the film).

And so, I made my own version of the sound effect which I combined with the original – you can hear in the clip below. After that, you can hear the ‘White Suit Man’ sound effect I created (a tribute to the original sound effect!) on its own.

I created my White Suit Man sound effect on my Native Instruments Machine.

Here’s the original sound effect + mine. Then, below that, my creation.

The Man in the White Suit Sound Effect (best ever!) by Richard Broom

And here’s my version of the sound effect on its own (image courtesy of IMBD)

The Man in the White Suit Sound Effect (my version) by Richard Broom

Join me on the cliffs east Portsoy, Scotland and listen to the waves crashing onto the rocks far below us.

I recorded the sound using my Zoom H6 sound recorder and used my parabolic microphone (with two mics for best stereo effect). The sound was processed in Adobe Audition.

The sound of surf crashing onto the rocks, Portsoy, Scotland. by Richard Broom

I see people from Poland are looking at my blog (from Flag Counter)

Like thousands of other people in the United Kingdom, we are offering the spare room of our house to refugees from the Ukraine. Our British Government is moving at a very slow pace and, until we can identify a refugee from the Ukraine in Poland (or any country near to the Ukraine), we cannot start arranging travel for these people. In fact, I feel ashamed to be British when I see what Boris Johnson is failing to do (all talk, no action and lies, lies, lies).

And so, if you are in Poland and if you can put us in touch with an agency/NGO who is trying to find accommodation for refugees in the UK (Scotland), then please send me an email at info@rids.co.uk and we will do our best. We have one spare bedroom, it would suit mother/child or older couple (senior citizens?). Naturally, we would NOT be charging rent for the use of our room. We want to help.

It really is time for Boris Johnson to go (along with his cronies).

See more

🚨"I'm interested in one thing and one thing only and that's bent prime ministers."🚨 pic.twitter.com/d6mrHRJFyO

— Led By Donkeys (@ByDonkeys) March 17, 2022

Join us on this morning’s dog walk and listen to the sound of a woodpecker (and other birds) as we walk through the woods near to our home in Banff, Scotland.

Today, for the first time, I used two microphones on my parabolic microphone. Stay tuned for sounds of a stream that runs through the woods. The second mic on the parabolic microphone makes quite a difference – much richer soundscapes. I processed the sound in Adobe Audition to try and limit the wind noise. The wind rushing through the tree tops create quite a lot of background noise…

You can buy a parabolic microphone from this company.

The Woodpecker! by Richard Broom

Take a look: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLPeJask/

When people like this chap return to the UK, they could face being charged with a criminal offence by our Government. At that time, we need to support these men and women who are, in my view, heroes. We need to be ready for the actions of an uncaring government and people like that awful woman Priti Patel.

If you are in the UK, please circulate this post widely. These brave people (and their families) need our support now and will certainly need it in the future.

Click here to read all about it: https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/aberdeen-aberdeenshire/4039118/meet-some-of-the-people-offering-up-their-homes-to-those-fleeing-ukraine/

10 years on and I still listen to this all the time..

The Night Before You Came (Magic Feet 12") by Paresse

Join me and listen to the sound of a babbling brook near to Duff House, Banff, Aberdeenshire, Scotland.

The sound was recording using a parabolic mic system manufactured by the Parabolic Microphone Company.

This was my first attempt at recording using the ‘para-mic.’ The gentle sounds of a small stream running through the woods.

More sounds to come!

The sound of a Scottish stream by Richard Broom

Join me aboard the 315 bus that leaves Amsterdam Central Staton and travels out to Monnickendam and beyond.

As ever in the Netherlands, the bus is spotlessly clean…

The 315 Bus From Amsterdam to Monnickendam, the Netherlands by Richard Broom

Why not join me for a tram ride between Amsterdam Central Staton and Dam Square? The announcer comes on at around 2 minutes 40 seconds…

Amsterdam Tram by Richard Broom

What happens when a rare callsign pops up on the Morse (CW) part of the Amateur Radio

bands. The chaos starts around 17 seconds in!

More sound files and sound effects to follow.

Morse Code by Richard Broom

I found this old picture somewhere…not sure where it comes from but, can’t help thinking it is topical given the way journalists are targeted these days. Let’s hope for a better world.

I know, it has been a long time since I posted anything…let’s get back into it with a chicken!

Here are two remarkable people who record sounds out there in the real world. I always feel that my dull images and videos could be spiced up with sound and that I should be recording more sound. These two people are my inspiration! Also interesting to see how much you can earn when you run a YouTube Channel.

You can find these remarkable folks and buy their recordings here: https://www.freetousesounds.com Their Youtube Channel is here: https://www.youtube.com/c/FreeToUseSounds

Findlater Castle, Aberdeenshire, Scotland. Built in the 1400s, abandoned in the 1600s. One owner, Sir John Gordon, fell out with Mary Queen of Scots and she had his head chopped off (I bet that hurt). Later, Queen Elizabeth 1 of England did to Mary Queen of Scots what Mary did to Sir John Gordon. It surely didn’t pay to upset people way back then! Off with their heads! Ouch!

Findlater Castle, Aberdeenshire, Scotland – built around the 1400s

An old favourite revived…

My wife asked me to order two new broom handles online and, being the obliging, highly obedient, house-trained and dutiful husband I am, I did as I was told (is there any other alternative?). The image shows what arrived in the post this morning. I think, perhaps, I got my measurements wrong. If anyone can think of a use for two very short bits of stick, please let me know.

Spring has brought an explosion of colour along the Scottish coast

Here’s Arushi Jain playing her music. You can read more about Arushi by clicking here. Peaceful music.

The great song that goes with this video by The IronWeed Project

Another one for the grandchildren…

Note: the iPhone digital zoom not so hot!

Please click here to listen to our interview with Sir Richard Dearlove.

Okay. I lied about the last blog post of the year (previous post).

But, if Boris ‘pilllock‘ Johnson can lie to the world repeatedly, then so can I!!!

If you look at John’s blog post (please click here), you’ll see he’s getting QRM on 540 Khz. QRM is radio-speak for interference or, maybe, jamming.

John is in Las Vegas and I’m in Scotland and so, I tuned to 540 Khz on my radio to see what I would receive here on the fashionable side of the North Atlantic. And what I get on 540 Khz is a station broadcasting in a language I do not recognise. Please take a listen to the video below. If anyone knows the cause of John’s interference (I wonder about his ceiling fan!), or the language recorded in my video below, please do let us know.

Happy New Year again. This might really be my past blog post of 2020. Let’s hope for a wonderful 2021.

STOP PRESS. I just found this.

My grandson completes his first solo.

Please listen in to our most recent Banff Spy podcast featuring Iona Reid who is a young, up and coming actress based in Turriff in North East Scotland.

You can listen to Iona talking about acting and acting training by clicking on this link.

Please check out our Banff Spy website by clicking here.

And he’s a photograph of Iona who is also the Banff Spy Podcast Producer:

The Morse Code had everything to do with the sinking of the Titanic and it was also used by Secret Agents everywhere..

Please take a listen to our latest Banff Spy podcast about the Morse Code by following this link:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1166630/6234538

All done using Photoshop’s new neural filter…

You might think that Morse code had died out long ago. Here’s a recording of what is known as a ‘pile up.’ About 11 seconds into the recording, you’ll hear Radio Amateur enthusiasts around the world trying to make contact with one person who has a rare callsign. Radio Amateurs record the contacts (AKA QSOs) with other Radio Amateurs around the world and collect contacts like other people collect rare stamps. The Morse code is alive and well!

<iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/911665330&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/rrr700" title="The Photo Nomad" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">The Photo Nomad</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/rrr700/morse-code" title="Morse Code" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Morse Code</a></div>

Part 2 of the first of our podcasts.

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